|Conjumbled ims :-) MY WORD LOL :-)
||[Sep. 2nd, 2005|02:45 am]
|||||emotional tie to stomach||]|
|||||I get knocked down but I get up again (pissn da night away)||]|
Tonight in sequence
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: did I tell you Josh moved in with another girl tonight? well he signed the lease
ScorpioAngel1384: ... uh no
ScorpioAngel1384: thats kinda jacked up
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and he thinks it's ok
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: cuz they're "friends" and he loves me and doesn't like her.
ScorpioAngel1384: thats fucked up
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: can you please tell him
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: can you call him
ScorpioAngel1384: if i call him theo is ganna be pissed
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: o he's there
ScorpioAngel1384: yea if he gets on i could tell him or text him
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: he's coming home
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: said he'd call me soon but I jus wanna strangle him to death
ScorpioAngel1384: yea thats not cool at all
ScorpioAngel1384: id beat his ass
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I tried not to care, but like he was hanging out with her, I got mad, his phone was on silent, I called hers and she was ok but then I called again after I hung up on him and she yelled at me, I jus felt like they were fucking in front of my face.
ScorpioAngel1384: why did she yell at u?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I'm jus so pissed off, I mean he cheated one me, and then fucking moves in with this bitch, I mean he'll be in house own room, but they live in the same house and will eat dinner and shyt together
ScorpioAngel1384: you have every right to be pissed about it
ScorpioAngel1384: thats just fuckin stupid on his part
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and I was yelling at him, then my sis was being a bitch, then my dad comes downstairs and yells at me for waking him and I'm like wtf, I'm like it's all about you and he's like ya when I don't get my sleep it is and I'm like so you don't care that I am upset and I think he thought that I said why and he said you're fighting with Josh, you're always upset with him, like who da fuck cares kinda voice and went back upstairs.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I jus wish I never fucking met him
ScorpioAngel1384: you dont wish that your just mad and he is being a dumbass
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: yes I do, all he has ever done is caused me insane pain
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: like no one else
ScorpioAngel1384: in my opinion thats worth breakin up over fer real
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: He's calling, I don't want him to
ScorpioAngel1384: so dont answer
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I answered and he said I jus wanted to tell you something, so I told him that you think he's a dumb ass and fucking stupid too and he agreed and laughed and then I cut him off and told him that, jus remember when you're lying in bed tonight I could have been there with you and hung up on him
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: he called again right after I hung up on his sorry ass
ScorpioAngel1384: what an idiot
ScorpioAngel1384: just be like your fucking up the best thing u ever had
ScorpioAngel1384: for some girl you say you dont even like
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: have you heard of Cherri?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: they've known each other for a few years now
ScorpioAngel1384: never heard of her
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: they sorta used to live together. He moved into an apartment and one of his guy friends was friends with them and they got evicted so they lived there for several months
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I knew about this for a lil bit, and I knew it was a possibility and I was mad before but now I jus don't think he's worth having. He's a joke and worth nothing.
ScorpioAngel1384: man im mad about it an im not even involved lol
ScorpioAngel1384: like what would posses him to even wanna move in with another girl
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I mean I know I got emotional issues but at least at my young age I am trying to make myself the best me inside. He's like we're always fighting and even though I got my problems, he is fucked up, ok and I don't get upset like this with anyone else. Josh brings out all my emotions.
ScorpioAngel1384: yea i know what u mean
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: oooo he kinda didn't have a whole lot of a choice
ScorpioAngel1384: its shit they do makes up crazy emotional
ScorpioAngel1384: how did he not have a choice?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: 3 roomates moved out and the one dude's father( the owner) decided to sell the house.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: so he needed to find a place real quick
ScorpioAngel1384: naw u stay with one of yer boys before u move in with some girl
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: he e-mailed a lot of people, saw some places but didn't get anyone
ScorpioAngel1384: its still fucked up so if u know he had to why u flippin?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya Josh doesn't really have many friends. I'm the closest to him and his old friends, he tried to make plans with them but they couldn't afford it and had other plans and his other friends that he doesn't know too well outside of dancing aren't looking for a place.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: cuz he had like 2 months to find a place
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and gave up and lived with them
ScorpioAngel1384: o if he had time then he didnt have to
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and like I said he cheated on mah ass before so with him I am insecure and I am like the only "girl" friend he ever had, and I don't want him to be close friends with anyone else. I'm jus scared and I don't want those bitches to take my time with my man
ScorpioAngel1384: well if yer that insicure that u dont even want him to have close friends thats not good
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: my life and him have made me that way. ya I am afraid that they'll be more interesting then me, and take my time away with him. He made me feel that way cuz of Liv and how she is supposidly all smart and political and shyt
ScorpioAngel1384: ye ai feel that way to somtimes
ScorpioAngel1384: i got an early class though so imma go to bed
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and I didn't get why what happened, but still I don't trust what I know now, you know? I do, but I don't. like I will most of the time untill something trigers it
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: or like if we have a fight, is he gonna confind into them, or will they try to turn him against me, or worse he'll meet someone that makes him see that I am not good for him, like that makes him happier or finds someone that's on the same level and is perfect for him, like has everything in common and they click better than us. Jus when I think things were suddenly going back 2 the way they were before the bitch stuck her buliemic ass into our situation and now I gotta deal wit dis
ScorpioAngel1384: i really gatta bounce but i do wanna talk about this!!!
ScorpioAngel1384: hopefully ill be on tomorrow aight
ScorpioAngel1384 signed off at 12:36:44 AM.
ScorpioAngel1384 signed on at 1:14:13 AM.
ScorpioAngel1384 is away at 1:15:19 AM.
DaBluSchmo: hey i was thinkin about you today and i got you silk soy milk
DaBluSchmo: vanilla of course!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: good, you spent it on yourself cuz I won't be there to drink it
DaBluSchmo: i was thinking what do i need....eggs...oh i'll check for that...soy milk yeah yeah
DaBluSchmo: cause i like to cater to youuuu
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: dude, nothing will be the same between us, and this isn't gonna change anything ok cuz you're living with her for a year
DaBluSchmo: but we are talking about cherri....a friend , you know :>
DaBluSchmo: i'm not angry you i hope you know that
DaBluSchmo: i'm angry at myself
DaBluSchmo: i want you to be the happiest person you can be....i don't really want anything else
DaBluSchmo: all i want is you!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: cuz you're fucked up and stupid in the head!? I jus can't deal with this. You always give me drama I can't deal with and I was so happy with you the past few nights cuz you were being silly and making me laugh and we haven't been like that since before the tragedy
DaBluSchmo: i don't need video games...or other crap
DaBluSchmo: all i want is
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: you're playing around, you're not upset
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I hate that
DaBluSchmo: my dream is for you to be really happy...
DaBluSchmo: i am reall upset at myself
DaBluSchmo: i had so much fun ojn the phone talking to you last night
DaBluSchmo: i almost just typed i had so much phone on the fun
DaBluSchmo: and tonight i was thinking about the fun i had on the phone with you
DaBluSchmo: and i was like dammmnnnn...i could really only have that much fun on the phone with frosty fox
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ok then that shoulda clicked to you and made ya call mah ass
DaBluSchmo: only we know each other that inside and out to be joking around lke that
DaBluSchmo: and i know that i really only want you!
DaBluSchmo: other girls are not intersting enough...THEY AREN"T YOU, BABY!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya I'm drama queen centeral, why go rent a blockbuster when you can rent a Trisha
DaBluSchmo: like how you are so interested in wanting to learn about so many things...go to zoos,museums,parks and do all kinds of crazy stuff
DaBluSchmo: is that the new blockbuster ad?
DaBluSchmo: ohhh i have another idea for your birthday...
DaBluSchmo: there is so much to choose from
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: created by yours truly
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: funny very cute and funny
DaBluSchmo: f its not fair
DaBluSchmo: i'm gonna ask off for sat the twenty fourth?
DaBluSchmo: can we celebrate your birthday then...other days too of course!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: if that's what you want
DaBluSchmo: i added tha tlast part cause i knew if i didn't say it you would have said it
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: haha sure
DaBluSchmo: i really want to see you in those jeans i got you!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: hahaha you wanna see your money on me
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: when r u going to sleep?
DaBluSchmo: hahha not exactly like that no...i like those jeans alot actually
DaBluSchmo: ahhh i was gonna go to sleep soon but i was more focused on talkikng to you
DaBluSchmo: yeah thats so crazy that you fit into those nine tens
DaBluSchmo: man you should come out with your own tape
DaBluSchmo: with your own show damn
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: LO L
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: but the jeans aren't TOO comfortable on me, but they will be in a month I'd say. They are tight so it's not too flattering to my stomach, but my ass is hot in them
DaBluSchmo: but my ass is hot in them
DaBluSchmo: yeah that is so true!
DaBluSchmo: i want to get a memory refresher though;-)
DaBluSchmo: i'm so glad i bought those for you!
DaBluSchmo: and i am so looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: well I was sad though cuz you scared me so much and you weren't happy
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and now you don't have money to buy me anything
DaBluSchmo: i can still buy you more things..
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I shouldn't have gotten those, I am greedy and will want stuff on my b-day
DaBluSchmo: it'll be alright...
DaBluSchmo: i have several hundred dollars
DaBluSchmo: i mean i want to do fun memorable things with you ...and i will get you at least one big thing.... along with other things
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I mean I ain't no gold digga but I dunno, it's jus sweet if a man will show his apperication to his lady, but yet, I no I'm no prize. we fight and I don't deserve you or anything from you
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: haha k
DaBluSchmo: you are a prize!
DaBluSchmo: DaBluSchmo: other girls are not intersting enough...THEY AREN"T YOU, BABY!
DaBluSchmo: only you would be so interested in all the things you are....and be so multidimensional
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: what cuz I can yell, cry, scream and bitch the loudest?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: how am I multidimensional?
DaBluSchmo: you have such a thirst for learning that you always want to learn...like how now you really want to learn more about sociopolitical stuff...and want to get real active in that stuff i'm into...but yet at the same time..
DaBluSchmo: you are really into your own wellness interest....very passionate about that :>....and then you are into psychology..., you are even into art!
DaBluSchmo: and i love the quirky things about you too...how you love shiny, colorful things
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: lol go on
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: get everything out
DaBluSchmo: wow you know how to put a man on the spot don't you ;-)
DaBluSchmo: i love how we can get into the same kind of music but also expose each other to diferent stuff..:>
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: seemed like you were on a role but I have so many more interest than you listed
DaBluSchmo: how are you are so open minded about everything, about the entire universe
DaBluSchmo: i love you are into fantasy and all that...and are really creative and imaginative
DaBluSchmo: and how you want to colloborate with me on projects :>
DaBluSchmo: i love you find little games to play with each other sometimes...like thumb wrestling or word games where i'll say a word then you say a word
DaBluSchmo: there was this couple at applebee's thumb wrestling and it reminded me of us
DaBluSchmo: how we are silly with each like that
DaBluSchmo: i love how you got into photography with me...
DaBluSchmo: i think i could go on forever!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya I remember one night we started that game like by accident( the word game) and it had like no rules either, lol, jus back n forth
DaBluSchmo: yeah yeah i love that
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: right now I am trying to find out what anxiety disorder I have
DaBluSchmo: oh yeah then we played tha tother game...mouthing ig uess?
DaBluSchmo: what would you call that
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: so I can get treated ASAP
DaBluSchmo: oh you think you have an anxiety disorder?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: OMG dude yes! THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!
DaBluSchmo: you have been having a lot of anxiety lately?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: no I know I do, I've known for a long time, it's jus become more apparent lately with the way I've been treating you.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: dude, my whole life have been extreme anxiety and I want it to disapate
DaBluSchmo: i want to try some exercises with you...
DaBluSchmo: or i wouldn't call them exercises with you...
DaBluSchmo: but i want to try some new ways of being....
DaBluSchmo: of relaxing ...
DaBluSchmo: i don't know...just been thinking about trying to really take time out each day to actually relax
DaBluSchmo: like mediate ,,,but i want to try this with you
DaBluSchmo: can we try that?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya I wish I knew how to do that, you used to be the only person that could calm me down and now it's pretty much the opposite or after it becomes the opposite it takes a while to get back to the same, lol.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: eww like gym, no
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I wanna do massaging
DaBluSchmo: like gym?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: and looking deeply into each others eyes, intamate, emotional and relaxing
DaBluSchmo: yeah thats what i mean :>
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: no meditating, I dunno about that, I don't wanna be quiet with you
DaBluSchmo: mediating in our own way i mean...ya know?
DaBluSchmo: like looking into each others eyes
DaBluSchmo: and just sitting there and massaging each other gently
DaBluSchmo: i would really love that
DaBluSchmo: i was actually thinking about last night how i really want to do that
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I wish you could come home and jus hold me right now
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I'm so sorry baby
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I need help and I want to help myself and I want you to continue to make me laugh and we'll get back to the way we were when we first knew each other only it'll be much better cuz we've gone thru everything together no matter HOW hard and rough and painful and I know we can go thru anything and I know we can pull thru and be happy and spend the rest of our lives together
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: so I can take care of u at 75
DaBluSchmo: hahah yes yes
DaBluSchmo: i'm actually gonna go to sleep too wanting to hold you.,...
DaBluSchmo: so what time am i picking you up tomorow?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: your choice
DaBluSchmo: come on the earliest train tha ti can pick u up on
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: uh 5:04?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: let me check
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I need 2 find out when I am coming home too
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: cuz I got class Tuesday and 9:30
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya ya I'm right, that's it
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: be there at 5:56
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: 28+28 is 56
DaBluSchmo signed off at 1:21:27 AM.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I dunno if u were talking to Josh but his internet connection went down
byu loves yoU: oh
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: that's why he signed off outta nowhere
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: sometimes the aim jus dosen't work
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I am pretty sure I have generalized anxiety disorder among others. I am researching those kind of disorders and also mood diorders I think too. I know my life has been emotional torture but I don't fall under PTSD cuz I didn't witness anything violent or whatever.
byu loves yoU: oh
byu loves yoU: so are you gonna get some kind of help for it?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: well I am taking this self help class called Psych of personal awarness and that teacher( for whom I've know since I started bucks about a year and a half ago or so) he is also a theropist so I hope I can get him to help me, in class by learning and asking questions and then at the end of the semester trying to see if I can make an apointment with him, he jus would have to be covered with my moms plan.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I know it's a lot more than jus GAD because it doesn't say anything about a tramatic life or emotions and controling them, yet they do talk about irratablity which I have, stronger at certain times and brought out by certian people, things or situations
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: "The essential characteristic of Generalized Anxiety Disorder is excessive uncontrollable worry about everyday things."
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I think I also have social anxiety disorder, it's about acceptance, I like people, like I would have talked to Josh when he was in 7th grade but I wouldn't go up to people cuz of how cruel people were to me. and my family, ahh, I mean, all I know is I gotta confront this and do what I need to do to manage or try to cure it
byu loves yoU: i see
byu loves yoU: i think you have that thing where you think you have every disorder
byu loves yoU: i forget what thats called
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: dude there's hotlines. one is 1-888-anxiety ( National institue of Mental Health). I could tell you everything but it would make me more upset and I guess bore you.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: if you knew what I've been thru and how rough I've had it, you'd know that it's more than me being moody or whatever
byu loves yoU: well i do think you are emotionally unstable but i dont think its healthy to diagnose yourself with disorders... especially since peoples normal reaction to labelling is to act the role of the label
byu loves yoU: it might make you worse
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: hypocondrac? like thinks they are always sick, like make it up in their head, that's what you're thinking of
byu loves yoU: yeah that thing
byu loves yoU: i think alex herrity and susan are kinda like that
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: o ya well I jus wanna learn about it. I looked at a lot of sites and wasn't too sure and then found one and I'm like I'm like that! I jus want to find what it is, but I know it's a bunch of different disorders intertwind and I need to get a hold of it and control and manage it so I can be happy. Josh wants me to be happy, and I am, but like the contstant worrying and how much stress, pain and suffering I put myself thru makes life not enjoyable a lot of the time, a lot more than what I want
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya I think Alex is like that, but I don't know Susan real well but I'd guess she is too
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: from what I've witness
byu loves yoU: well anyway
byu loves yoU: you gotta remember disorders are just medical labels to symptoms
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I jus want to educate myself, I mean I know me real well and I know how I feel and what has happened to myself to get me there, I jus wanna go to theroapy to help heal myself so I can move on
byu loves yoU: so you cant really have a disorder... but they can take your symptoms and say "oh that sounds like this"
byu loves yoU: its not like an infection where its an actual physical problem
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I know thousands of people are misdiagnous every single day, but like I am very analictical and I knew what my problems were so I was looking for info on what I already know what my symtoms are, but I know I have multiple disorders.
byu loves yoU: you dont HAVE disorders
byu loves yoU: disorders are labels to symptoms
byu loves yoU: you have symtoms
byu loves yoU: your symptoms maybe fall into the description of multiple disorders
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya I know what you're saying, I mean they did say that one thing could stem from something else, but like it's jus more classified. I wonder if they have a name for what I've gone thru, lol. ahh I jus want theroapy and Josh and I are gonna do relaxing technices and like stuff that's intamate so that I can be calm and enjoy myself.
byu loves yoU: but remember that disorders dont exist... they're medical creations to describe things
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: yes yes I totally agree with you on that
byu loves yoU: ok good im glad you realize that then
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: jus wasn't putting it in the words you said, but yes that is true
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya it was taking me a while to write that, sorry
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: my stomach hurts and I think I should go to sleep
byu loves yoU: ok - gnight
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: another symtom of mine I am gonna get thru dis. Oh and I've lost 46 lbs now
byu loves yoU: thats good
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I still think I wanna lose 30-36 lbs but people tell me 25 at the most. I dunno, I jus don't want this gut on me, I wanna be healthy, feel good and get toned, it'd be so much easier to try break dancing then, but it's hard and uncomfortable with big thighs. I want space between them. ah, well, lol, I won't go on and on. I'll talk to you soon.
byu loves yoU signed off at 2:30:42 AM.
byu loves yoU signed on at 2:31:32 AM.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya going to sleep now?
byu loves yoU: nope
byu loves yoU: you're not?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I will, I am gonna post some ims in my lj in a minute and then go
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I don't have school on Fridays YES!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I didn't even plan it that way, I thought my classes were mon, wed, and fridays, but jus the first two and then I have one at 9:30-10:45 on T/TH, so this will give me a lot of time to work, if I get a job at Genardis or somewhere.
IM from the night before____
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: you're a bad manatee lover!
DaBluSchmo: hey :> i just have to say bye to alx cause i was signed on before!
DaBluSchmo: nah i'm a good manatee schmo :> i love you
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I'm jus playin wit cha baby, get your rest and I'll get mine real soon. Hope 2 c u Friday night. Love ya, with all my heart
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: btw I saw Max today. It felt great! Hopefully we'll all "chill" soon, lol
DaBluSchmo: was he happy to see you?>
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya and I like was so excited, I had this huge smile on my face and flalled my arms and kinda jumped up and down, like ya know what I mean, I'll show you, and we were happy, gave him and hug, we talked, he was tired.
DaBluSchmo: was he all furry up on yall azz\
DaBluSchmo: haha he was tired
DaBluSchmo: wow i didn't see that one coming...pleazzz
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: then like he saw another girl, talked to her, came back to me, and said he'd meet me back there after he gets school supplies and I said I might not be there and he gave me a high five thingy and then I saw him on my way to my Soc class.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: they need to make a smiley wond that roles it's eyes, they have 1 on yahoo
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: dude, furry up mah ass, lol. that's not a good picture
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: lol ahh
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: not really, but it's hard, I don't like pay attention to that when I am all over the place like I was today but his hair grew back in and I was happy, I didn't say anything, it's the astetic side of me, lil superfical but all heart,lol
DaBluSchmo: hahaha you're into the beauty of people
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: we'll I try to find the beauty and good in everybody, but with you, it comes easy
DaBluSchmo: ahhah so sweet....
DaBluSchmo: trying to get on my good side and s heot...its working though ;>
DaBluSchmo: hahah those are some crazy smiles!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya I knwo, ya say dat
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ooo remind me to change your ring 4 me on Friday. I dunno why I thought that jus now. My head hurts
DaBluSchmo: oh ok i will...aight i'm getting off i love ya i'll call you tomororw peace
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: you weren't sweet enough wit your good bye to me
DaBluSchmo: i'e had a lot of fun talking to you tonight
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: jus say something sweet and I'll be giddy as a horse on a merry go round lol
DaBluSchmo: i love you and miss you so much schmo manatee fox girl
DaBluSchmo: and hope to have fun phone times iwth you til the end of the univeser!
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I am so saving that and putting it in my LJ lol
DaBluSchmo: haha awesome....
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: that's so sweet, me too baby I love ya. Get some good sleep, dream of me baby and us, laughing , cuddling and being real happy together sweet dreams baby
DaBluSchmo: love ya pish trish!@
DaBluSchmo signed off at 11:44:40 PM.
Earlier today _______
KDareW2505: he is just stupid
KDareW2505: he was like i dont want any drama
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: well what makes u wanna stay with him?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: cuz you've known him so long?
KDareW2505: cuz i do love him,. i wanna be a family
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: but do you believe things will change?
KDareW2505: i dont know
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: how long have you guys been having problems like this?
KDareW2505: off and on forever
KDareW2505: not exactly like this
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: but you guys were happy once?
KDareW2505: we are happy then we fight
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: well, I mean did something big happen sometime and that's why you fight. Like things were perfect with Josh and I till the insane iliterte devil bitch came along and messed with mah man.
KDareW2505: yea he cheated on me with andrea
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: but the past few days Josh has changed, came outta no where and he is veing silly and funny and I am so happy. Him acting that way makes me the happiest, jus it's kinda werid cuz we fought big recently and after that I think he used it as a coping stragedy for him and to make me feel better too and now it's staying like that and we're getting along.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: Well you know the story with Josh, he jus kissed her on the lips, but if they had mad love( thank god they didn't) but if they did I'd have to understand cuz I have with other guys too, but still to this day, Josh has only made love to me, which is like a fairy tale kinda thing, but I mean, well we went thru our stuff and I am grateful we go thru everything together and we're still together and real happy like before, so you have to figure out for yourself if Ted is worth it. If you feel he truly loves you and he'll change and compramise and do what he needs to do, well both of you, to work together to make it work, then try to make it work but don't let him walk all over your ass. He does it cuz you let him. He's like o well she'll take me back so ........ I mean don't you think so. All I know is Josh said you need to figure things out for
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: yourself. I have my ideas but it's your life, and Josh and I don't really know you guys personally, so you need to do what you feel is right and what feels best in your heart. Don't regret what you do in life, I mean you can waste so much precious time, ya know?
KDareW2505: i just dont know
KDareW2505: things are so fucked up and i knwo its not all him but
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: it's jus so difficult in your case cuz you can't escape him because you have his, well both yours son, I can't speak today, lol
KDareW2505: thats ok lol
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ya, for me it's the other way around I know most of it is about me, stuff I need to fix about myself but it's not always me, he can blame me at times and then realize he was being a jerk and he can do stuff every once in a while that really upsets me so I dunno, but I am working on me. I am taking this psych class called personal awarness and it's gonna help me with everything and then after I am gonna go to theropy with the teacher, he's a theropist and teacher.
KDareW2505: thats good, i think me and theo need to see a theropist together
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I wouldn't even concintrate on the relationship as much as yourself. like I said I can't judge you, but you need to respect yourself, love yourself and not let him treat you like crap, and if there's things you wanna change about yourself, how you act or whatever, try and figure out ways to do that, or theropy is good too.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: If you're thinking about theroapy with Theo, you might wanna start off it jus being you and the theropist, let them know your history, let them know your problems and then let him in with your sessions, and or do that and also let Theo see the theropist privately and then come together. Would Theo ever do anything like that?
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: would he open up ?
KDareW2505: i think he would
KDareW2505: well im ganna catch a nap b4 i go to class
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: ok kool you're going to school again
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: well I hope everything works out for the best and I'll always been here to listen and try to give you the best advice I can.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: I hope I made you feel better or something.
KDareW2505: u did thanks
KDareW2505: u should go to school to be a theropist lol
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: awww that's like the nicest compliment I've gotten in a while, you're the first to say that, well pretty much
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: have fun. I'll talk to you soon.
FrOsTyFoX36C3036: peace gurl
KDareW2505 signed off at 2:49:45 PM.
BTW Josh's aim shut down, that's why he didn't talk sweet to me on there, like he usually does when he says good bye. KC I hope you feel good right now and that things will work out :-) Josh I love you baby and me and you will figure out how to help me thru my disorders. When I start theroapy after the semester ends( even though it jus started) hopefully then I'll be able to have my teacher be my theropist and you could come on some of the visits, since ya know me inside out:-) We go together like PEAS AND CARROTS! RUN FOREST RUN!!! LOL well if it's you, run gracefully into my arms, don't want ya to stumble over 1 of your dirty shoelaces and fall or sumtin lol. Love ya'll. Peace and thanks for hearing me out, reading me out? seeing me out??????? :-) LOL